It’s so common to hear a girl say “I hate Valentines Day!”. Many of the women in her life may turn and tell her to stop being silly and just enjoy it. And we look at her and presume that she’s either alone for this special day or that she’s speaking from the pain of a bad experience.
But why is she so bitter?
There’s a lot of talk about Valentines Day being an occasion of consumerism. People complain that it’s all about hype, competition and conformity. Acts of love and affection are forced, to satisfy the requirements of the day. It’s all just a big game.
My theory is that we are just hungry for genuineness. We don’t like the idea that romance has been made so convenient for a guy that he can buy roses while paying for his petrol. Yes we still love the flowers, but this “romantic gesture” was pretty much an accident.
A girl feels special when a guy goes out of his way to buy something, plan a date, use his creativity and think about what would really make his girl happy. Practically showing his affection is not something he ticks off his to-do list, he’s excited to demonstrate how much he really loves her and so he puts in some effort. It doesn’t always have to be extreme, just a bit thoughtful.
But beyond Valentines Day, we all crave genuineness. REAL love and authentic kindness. No one likes empty words or actions motivated by obligation.
You know what it feels like to get a fake smile from someone. It’s not nice. It’s annoying. It’s almost rude.
We can get used to saying “Hi. Good thanks” to the person behind the cash register as we put our shopping on the counter. We get in the habit of giving a forced smile and a “hello, how are you?” as we walk past our colleagues at work, but never stop to really ask them how they are. There are people who walk into church that we may have a conversation with because it’s the right thing to do, but do we really care about them? We can even live with people and never have a meaningful conversation with them.
Empty love can often have a worse affect than if we had done nothing at all. A girl who receives a thoughtless present on Valentines Day may then decide that she now hates this “special occasion”. In the same way, a person who experiences a fake interaction with someone may only lose respect and trust in that person. They’re bitter because they’re disappointed. It’s ironic that “an act of love” can actually cause a person to feel more unloved.
It could be as simple as thinking before we speak and act…Is what I’m about to do really going to show a person that I care? Because my genuineness is WAY too important. We can have the greatest impact on others with authentic love.
And guys…don’t forget Valentines Day.